Luminous Photography

Week 40 — The Morning After

2011-10-11T12:33:00.001+01:00

Week 40/52

[Only twelve weeks until this project is over! Oh God, I can't even think about that.]

I have an issue with blurry shots — if you've followed my 365, you'll know that if I have a properly focused shot and a blurry one, I'll probably go with the blurry. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm shortsighted and refuse to wear glasses, so for me the world is a little bit blurry. Or maybe it's because I think it's more dramatic. I don't know. But I tend to choose the blur. And I think this is the first time, or one of the few that I've done it in my 52 Weeks. There are a few outtakes in the comments, and among them are the focused photos. You can check them out there.

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The sun is harsh, hot, scalding. It hits you like a million knives to the front of your cranium and the pain reaches your eyes, your nose, your forehead. The car. You're still in the car, your clothes disheveled, your fingers dirty with the remains of the eyeliner and mascara. You must have scratched your eyes while you was asleep.

There's no walk of shame — you're free, you're not in a relationship and you can do what you please.

(Haven't you always? Even when you were with him, even when you were in a serious relationship, haven't you always done whatever the hell you want?)

There's a bitterness in the morning sun, a sudden awakening that you don't welcome. How come everything seems that much more violent, much more judgmental in the light of morning? Isn't the night supposed to be the scary one, the one to avoid? No — the morning is much more unforgiving.

And then you remember, the way his hands touched you, the way he pushed you against the wall of the ballroom, the way you kissed and moaned and ended up in a tangled mess of limbs in the back of your limo. It was cold, plain old sex — the kind that makes you forget you even exist. The kind that makes you forget that encounter, his eyes on yours when he crosses the room, a young woman hanging from his arm. The kind that makes you forget you ever loved him — but not really, because that's just not something you can let go of.

Because he found you alone in the only empty room in the building and his arm snaked around your waist. Because his mouth found your ear as you stared at each other's reflection, and because his words made it all come back.

(We're not over, we'll never be over. Because you're mine and I'm yours and this will never end, we'll always come back)

So you did what you knew how to do and found the closest boy-toy to forget him with.

You just didn't expect the morning to hit you so furiously.

------

[Of course, my sleazy VW Golf isn't a limo. But we can all pretend, right?]

Week 39 — The Kindness of Strangers

2011-10-11T12:32:00.001+01:00

Week 39/52

Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
— Hebrews 13:2

This was a good yet uninspired week for me. Yesterday, I had no idea of what I wanted to do for my photo of the week, so as I was talking to my friends online, my eyes fell on an old ballerina photo. I said 'That's it. That's the easy way out. Ballet. AND PAINT. Black paint. I like that'. So I went about getting everything (buy new and very cheap pointe shoes that I could spoil with acrylic paint), look for all the things I needed, and then I found my angel wings. And the thing took a whole new meaning.

As I processed this shot, I kept wanting to make it lighter, brighter, more about beauty than about brokenness and despair. But the photo asked for darkness, so that's what I gave it. And that quote up there kept coming to my mind, the mistreated angel, the people we pass by on the street every day and do not help, the people we refuse to take care of because they're strangers. They could be Angels in disguise, and by that I do not mean mythical creatures with wings and swords and whatnot (I need to stop inflicting my Catholic imagery onto everyone here), but the kind of people who have the power to change your life, to change you to the very core.

So the bottomline is — be kind. To whom, where, when, it doesn't really matter. Just be kind and be sure that your heart is open — because change often happens without notice, and most of the time, it's for the best.

[One of the textures used in this shot is by Pareeeerica. The others are my own. I keep feeling like I'm using the same processing again and again, but that's what I've been in the mood for. You'll just have to bear with me a little while longer, I guess.]

Week 38 — Lift

2011-10-11T12:31:00.001+01:00

Week 38/52

This photo was only possible thanks to the help of my elves *ahem* assistants Lila, Marta and Zé, e to my aunt Maria, who gave me a helium tank as a birthday present. My friends and family are awesome like that.

Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I spent the day having as much fun as I could, but the height was definitely this shoot. We filled the woods with balloons, I got to levitate and have fun and laugh and take hipster pics against the car. I had an incredible time, really.

I know it's silly to say, but I do feel sort of... different. No, it's not since yesterday, but since the past few weeks, it's like the quarter of a century caught up with me. I feel a sudden need to dress like an adult — me! — and to stop acting like a kid all the time. Meanwhile, I don't want to lose myself and my childish essence, so I'm trying to learn how to balance those two. But it's nice, to finally feel like an adult. Even with all of those balloons.

There are two outtakes in the comments: one is this same shot with a different processing (one I actually like better, but that I don't think is fitting for main shot) and a different one. I hope you like them as much as I do, and that your week is as perfect as mine has been.

Have a glorious weekend, everyone!

Week 37 — The Light and the Music

2011-10-11T12:30:00.002+01:00

Week 37/52

I just want to state, before anything else, that I do NOT play the accordion. I have no idea how to. I'm even holding it wrong in the picture. Plus, that's a toy accordion. It sounds like a wailing cat. It's good to annoy my family, but not much else.

This is more wishful thinking than anything else. One of my oldest dreams is to learn how to play this instrument — it's considered corny, tacky where I live, but i just love it so, so, so much. I love the sound, I think it's beautiful, and the expertise of those who play absolutely fascinates me.

This photo is also dedicated to a very dear friend of mine, who I just discovered plays the accordion, and who's been the light of my days in the past few weeks. Lina, I'd probably be stuck under a palm tree in Cape Verde, hiding from the world, if it weren't for your unwavering support of me and of everything I do.

So I hope you like this. I sure had fun shooting it.

And I just realized that this is my last 52W photo while I'm 24 years old. I'm taking my next shot on my birthday, next Thursday, so it might be related to that. Or not. No idea.

Week 36 — La Noyee

2011-10-11T12:29:00.002+01:00

Week 36/52

Assistant: Miguel Pinto

The title of this shot was taken from the Serge Gainsbourg song of the same name. It's a very clear influence from the Polish Brothers' movie 'For Lovers Only'. The truth is, that was the only song I could hear the entire plane trip here; it was just so soft and so tender and it reminded me so much of the movie that I just had to use it. Plus, I have the ocean right beside me. How could I not use it for some 'drowning' pictures? Oh, that's where the black and white comes from, as well. I just couldn't do it in color. I might post the outtakes later with color in them, but right now, they were begging me for BW.

I've been having a fabulous time here. Africa does wonders for my health, both mental and physical, so I've been feeling wonderful. I hadn't been online yet — and curiously I hadn't missed it one bit. I've just been reading, running around, eating like a pig, spending half my day in the ocean. (There are sharks here. Apparently. I'm still calling urban myth.)

Still, I really wanted to do this shoot. And I had my cousin, who's also a photography lover, with me so I could do it freely, without concern for the safety of the camera or the locations. We did walk for about 20 minutes just to get to this secluded beach.

Anyway, I'm having a lovely time. A fiction counterpart might come to join this, later; right now I want nothing more than to go back to my beloved sun. And ocean.

I hope everyone's doing wonderfully. :)

Week 35 — Kiss the Air

2011-10-11T12:28:00.002+01:00

Week 35/52

The words on the photo are from a song written by the incredible Scott Alan, called Kiss the Air. It's heartbreakingly beautiful — like most of his work — and I thought it was fitting for the photo and the occasion.

There's a big possibility that there won't be a 52 W photo next week. I'm going on vacation, next Monday (Northern Africa, FTW!) and God willing, returning on the following week. I'm not sure about the type of internet connection I'll have, or even if I'll have any. So I can't promise anything. Still, I leave you with this one and hope you like it!

This is all about traveling. I love my city, but sometimes it overwhelms me. It's too many people, too many acquaintances, too many 'hellos' on the street. It's too much noise, too much light and then none at all, and it makes me want to get in bed and stay there for weeks. That's why I need this vacation so much, that's why I need to get the heck out of here, to see what I like and to just sleep and swim and get my ass kicked by the waves and dance in the sand and read read read and listen to music and not to think about any of the problems I have here.

*le sigh*

Alright. I'll probably post an outtake before I go, but in case I don't, and I don't talk to you again and my plane crashes or something (yes, I'm still afraid of airplanes) I love you all, and you've made this journey immensely joyful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

Week 34 — A Stray from the Circus

2011-10-11T12:27:00.002+01:00

Week 34/52

This week's shot comes in a few hours earlier than usual, since I'm going away for the weekend and probably wouldn't be able to post until Sunday night.

This is the most composed shot I've ever done. In that image are 5 different photographs, and while I did have a blast doing this, I ended up falling a few times and hurting my leg. It was a nice ending for a not-so-lovely day, in which I had a migraine the size of Texas, my car broke down and I couldn't find half the things I needed for the shot. Yes. One of those days.

I had been dying to do something with the wheel they took off my aunt's bike, a couple of weeks ago. Honestly, I have a feeling it's going to be my favorite prop for a while — I had so much fun with it! And this concept was supposed to be something about the wheel of fortune, but I ended up abandoning it — firstly because this idea kind of took over and there wasn't much I could do to stop it, and secondly because I had a better location idea for the other shot.

I don't know if I've talked about a movie called Twin Falls Idaho, here. I'm assuming some of you know it, or at least know of it — it's the first movie made by the Polish Brothers, and I finally got around to see it. When I was setting up this shot, scenes from the movie, from the quirkiness and the small details came to mind. I'm reading their book, and realizing how much love it took to make that movie made me value my art so much more. You won't always be successful, you won't always please everyone, but as long as you stay true to what you are and what you mean to say through your work, you'll be okay.

Week 33 — Apnea

2011-10-11T12:25:00.001+01:00

Week 33/52

When you realize you can't breathe. That you're underwater, that the sounds that get to you are muffled, strained, incomplete. That you're not quite absorbing what you should. That you're stagnant, unmoving. When you realize that no matter where you turn, no one inspires you enough for you to want to learn from them. When you realize that no matter what you do, you'll never be enough, you'll always be the kid who doesn't really work, does she? Because photography's not work, it's pleasure, and God forbid I should love what I do. When you feel like you're sinking more and more and suddenly, the only image that comes to your mind is that of Virginia Woolf, in the Hours, standing in the river, waiting for the courage to die. When you know you have a life to fight for, and you do and it's worth it, but not here. Far away from here, where you can be who you really are. No more lies, no more hiding things. No more of this.

---

This is probably my least favorite shot until now. But oh well. Part of this project is the request for us to post whether we're completely satisfied or not, so here it is. There are two more of these in the comments, plus a 'World Photography Day' pic.

Week 32 — A Darker Reflection

2011-10-11T12:24:00.001+01:00

Week 32/52

Only 20 weeks to go! Oh goodness.

The concept for this shot was more... violent than this. Darker, very much so. The thing is, I was processing it and I just didn't feel it. You know? When you're doing something but somehow it doesn't seem right? That's how I felt about that horribly creepy shot, so I went with another one. It's not light and fluffy, no, but at least it's not making me want to jump off a bridge.

I don't think I have anything too eloquent to say. This isn't my favorite shot, but it isn't the one I like the least, either. I hope you can find something in it that you enjoy, and if you o, let me know. :)

Week 31 — Coming of Age

2011-10-11T12:23:00.001+01:00

Week 31/52

I've had this concept in my mind for a few weeks now, and while it isn't a spectacular shot, it came out exactly like I wanted it to: soft and contained. Which is exactly what this concept was about.

I suffer from an enormous Peter Pan complex. I don't like growing up. I don't mind the concept of getting physically older, but having to be adult and mature and act properly and everything makes me want to shoot myself in the head. It's like I wasn't made for it; I was made to spend half my time daydreaming and imagining possibilities, stories, photos, places I want to see and people I want to visit. I was made to love things deeply and strongly, to laugh out loud in the street and jump and clap when I like something. I was made to smile giddily.

I wasn't made for the formality of adulthood. For the distance between people, for the lack of touch. And this is the concept I wrapped this shot around; the lack of physical contact.

I'm very touchy-feely. I'm the kind of person who'll hug you out of nowhere, who'll try to hold your hand or play with your hair if you're sad. And I know that's not appropriate at my age, now. I'm supposed to be this proper woman, to comfort people with a nod or a pat on the forearm. I'm supposed to keep a respectable distance between myself and others, which is something we didn't have as kids, as teenagers. And it troubles me, because my first impulse (which was radically augmented by the birth of my sister) is to hug people. So I spend half my time telling myself 'not everyone is a cuddle bug like you are, not everyone likes to be touched' and keeping my hands in my pockets so I can be the "adult" everyone wants me to be.

I don't know. Maybe I'm being childish about this, but it's one of the things that bother me the most about growing up. What sense does it make, to not be able to give and receive physical comfort just when things get hard? Because when you're a kid, you might not notice, but the world is pink and bubbly. The teenage years aren't the worst; they may seem like they are, but they aren't. The worst part is when you have to deal with work and bills and health issues and the life that everyone expects you to live. That's when it gets tough. And that's exactly when you're not supposed to be comforted.

I don't know. This is a very... stream of consciousness kind of thing, so I'll just shut up now.

Week 30 — The Wanderer

2011-10-11T12:22:00.001+01:00

Week 30/52

---

She is not a common woman.

She's left behind a home and a country which she did not recognize as her own; she's left behind the safety of her home in a time when you can smell the war in the air, when you can feel the tension rising in rivulets in the sands of the desert. She left it all behind, all alone, and never looked back. When you ask her, the reason she serves you with is made of only one word: curiosity.

She's driven by curiosity, by that force stronger than life, that need to know more and more and more, until there's nothing more to discover, or maybe until you find a whole new world with new mysteries to delve in, new causes to investigate, new reasons to wonder. She's not satisfied with knowledge — she revels on the curiosity itself, the need to know, the strength it gives her bones.

The certainty of the answers is not what she's looking for; she's in it for the ride, for the silent and lonely nights in the middle of the desert. She's in it for the long, deep conversations under the desert sky, with the men she's grown to consider her brothers, both in this war and in her heart. She's in it for the crews, the teams of explorers in this beginning of century, a time when she's not expected to be there, not supposed to be the sole woman in a men's world. She's in it for the comfort she finds in looking up at the starts and knowing that they move, that they, like herself, run around in circles trying to find their place. She's in it for the clandestine encounters with H., for the broadness of his shoulders and the strength of his hands clutching her hips. She's in it for the moment when they part and their hands are the last to let go, their fingers extending until the tips don't touch anymore.

She is truly content with the life she's chosen. For her, the thrill is in the action, the need for adventure, not the destination. She's a free spirit, never attached, never bound by the petty notions of men and priests, never tied down by the rules of society. She makes her own world out of the maps she folds carefully and hides in the pages of the few books she's always carried along, mixing lands and continents and oceans and rivers; she plays with the compass, skillfully, as if the needle was best friend. She defies the laws of men and God, and yet she's faithful.

Her name is Frances, but the men around her call her Frankie. She is not a common woman.

----

[I just read this and realized that I somehow named the woman 'Frankie' in this shot, when in my head she's always been Sylvia. So there. The darn name is wrong, I'm not changing it in the main text, but here's the disclaimer.]

The aesthetics of this were inspired by the fabulous Brooke Shaden. The texture is from pareeeerica's collection.

Aaaaaand I just came across tthis shot from my darling Sarah, which is a similar concept, only she did it before me and way better. Great minds think alike. Go see it!

Week 29 — My Own Worst Enemy

2011-10-11T12:20:00.001+01:00

Week 29/52

This did not come out the way I wanted it to. I need a bigger studio, I need better lights, I need an assistant. But still, I don't hate this. I actually like it a bit, because it's dark and it's twisty and it's more 'me' than most of the things I've done in a while.

The theme, the title of the shot is very important. First, because it's the name of a wonderful song by one of my idols — Idina Menzel; second, because it basically describes who I am.

I'm incredibly demanding. Towards others, yes, but mostly to myself. There are times when I realize I'm just saying this mantra over and over in my head 'you can't do that, you can't do that', and a time comes when you actually believe you can't. I'm the one building the walls, I'm the one finding problems in small things.

I've been getting better, though. Much better, I think, and I have to send thanks in no small terms to a couple of people — my singing teacher and my meditation teacher, especially. By listening to what they have told me through the years (or months, in the MT example) we've been working together, they've pushed me to be stronger, to be better, to leave my head out of what I can or cannot do, and that's something incredibly special. And this is a bit of a proof of that; that I have distance enough to see how harmful I was, to myself.

(And really, acrylic paint is the way to go if you want to paint your face. Comes out like magic! BUT — and this is a big 'but' — your skin doesn't breathe through it, since it's basically plastic, so don't cover yourself all over and die, k?)

Week 28 — Musicality

2011-10-11T12:19:00.002+01:00

Week 28/52

I have no shame to admit that this shot was not thought of, not planned, not thought through. I just started to hang music sheets from the ceiling and this is how it came out, so it's not one of my best, not even close.

My problem, this week, was time. I've been having rehearsals for the showcase on Sunday — every single day. I've been studying the songs I have (five of them!), I'm spending time at the school and that leaves me very little time for anything else. Which is also why my 100DoS is so freaking late.

There's no story, today. No pseudo intellectual musing about things that no one cares about. There's only this shot and its outtakes, and my complete and utmost exhaustion with the showcase — and the extreme and utmost joy I know I will feel once Sunday comes and we're all having fun on that stage. That's all I'm hoping for.

Week 27 — Behind the Curtain

2011-10-11T12:17:00.002+01:00

Week 27/52

I had to bite my tongue not to name this photo after another of songs from 'For Lovers Only'. That's right. It's been a week. I'm still obsessed. But I did this whole shoot with that music playing, so it would fit. Still. Lulu. Name your shots yourself, don't steal other people's words.

It's been a while since I've liked one of my shots, but this week, I do. And I like the outtakes. And now I'm jinxing it by saying I like what I did, but whatever.

The textures are pareeeerica's, and my own.

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Candaules tells Gyges that the queen has the same practice every night.

"She takes off her clothes and puts them on the chair by the door to her room and from where you stand you will be able to gaze on her at your leisure."

And that evening it's exactly as the King has told him.

She goes to the chair and removes her clothes one by one, until she's standing naked in full view of Gyges, and indeed she was more lovely than he could have imagined. But then the Queen looked up and saw Gyges concealed in the shadows, and although she said nothing, she shuddered.

This is from a scene in The English Patient. I know the original is from Herodotus, but I don't know the original text so I transcripted it from the movie. I had been dying to do something based on that scene for a while, and while I set up the lights and the veil and everything in my room, my mind went back to this piece and I knew I wanted to work with it.

Week 26 — A Veiled Innocence

2011-10-11T12:16:00.001+01:00

Week 26/52

Oh, dang, we're halfway through. And yet, somehow, I don't feel like a better photographer than I was before I started it. Oh well. It shall come.

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All things truly wicked start with an innocence. — Ernest Hemingway

This quote has been rolling around in my mind this week; maybe it's because I'm feeling wicked — and not in a good way —, or maybe it's just that I've been so frustrated with my photography lately that nothing else seems to make sense. That's the risk you take when you throw yourself into your art; when it doesn't cooperate, nothing else does.

But back to the quote, this is a concept that I found to be truthful. It all starts with a sense of innocence, of an expectation that is never fulfilled, until it breaks. And then it breaks you, makes you want to run and hide, makes you want to be truly wicked.

This quote also makes sense in the context of one of my favorite books — yes, Wicked, by Gregory Maguire — where we see the transformation of a girl who thought she could change the world, who thought that she could do something better than what everyone else was, who had all of this innocence within her — into something dark, something solitary and fearful, something everyone else perceived as a frightful. Elphaba goes from a student who aspires to change the way Oz works to a dark and lonely soul, so lost and closed up that nothing can touch her. That path scares me. I see myself going down that same way over and over again and I look back to try to cling to the light, to the reality that I've always lived in. My happy place. So why is it that the darkest path is always the most alluring one?

Week 25 — The Writing on the Wall

2011-10-11T12:14:00.002+01:00

Week 25/52

I'm sorry for the delay in posting this, but yesterday was a local holiday and I had a rehearsal with a couple of friends. I was counting on getting home at 7 to post this, but I ended up arriving here at 2am. Right. Not really in time to post. :p

This shot turned out incredibly dark. It was supposed to be a light, joyful shoot, but the muse switched gears on me and drove me into her dark and twisty ways.

So here it is, the moral prison, the pain of being tied up by the light, by inspiration. The muse comes and the muse goes, and we're all subject to her whims and wishes. It's a dark game, that of the artist, and such an exhausting one, at times. But it's not the kind of path you choose, it's the kind you're blessed with, and I am so very glad to let my mind be a vessel for the muses' wishes.

Week 24 — Death of a Prom Queen

2011-06-17T18:54:00.002+01:00

Week 24/52

There's always a line for the photographer's stage, on these things. Proms, Bar Mitzvahs, cotillions — the one thing he knows is that the girls always want to have their picture taken, and the boys almost always comply, in the hopes for some sloppy kissing and groping in the hallway, later. It's how it works, and it's never bothered him until now. There's a blonde and a pimple-faced kid, standing awkwardly in front of the red backdrop, but his eyes are drawn to the girl at the end of the line.

It takes him a few minutes to get through everyone and when the girl approaches him, he notices for the first time that she's the Prom Queen. A plastic tiara was placed lopsidedly on her hair and the mascara that once made her eyes open up with flair is now running down her cheeks. Her lipstick is smudged, but the most obvious sign of her decay is still the lack of a date by her side. She's the first girl he's photographing alone, this evening.
She's not hiding. There's no embarrassment in her stride as she motions to stand in front of the red curtain, no shame. She holds her head high and the Photographer is able to notice that her eyes are dry. Whatever she had to cry about, she's done with it, it's a thing of the past. He marvels at the feeling she emanates; it's something he's never seen before — the feeling of a clean slate, of the newness and the opportunity that comes after you graduate. She's not just crying, she's shedding her skin like a snake, growing newer and more beautiful scales. She's transforming. And as she brings a hand up to wipe some lipstick off of her face, his mind forces him to press down on the shutter button, and a click is heard.

Her eyes shoot up to meet his, and when they do, she smiles. Her part is done, and so is his.

------

Whoever gets the TV reference in the title (no googling!) wins a prize. An air kiss from me. Yes, that.

Don't forget to check out my 100 Days of Summer project! Oh, and the texture belongs to the lovely pareeeerica.

Week 23 — The Firefly Collection

2011-06-17T18:53:00.000+01:00

Week 23/52

I'm very uncertain about this shot. I don't like it all that much, but since I've been on an inspirational rut these past few weeks, I'll post what I have and go with the flow. Oh well.

I wanted to do something with fireflies, this week, sort of in reference to the cult TV show... FIREFLY. Were you surprised? Were you? :D Okay, I'll stop. But really, I just watched this show. In little over a week, I went through the 15 episodes and I couldn't stop crying when I saw the last one. I loved it so, so much. I still have the movie to watch, but I'm sort of saving it for a rainy day, you know? But the show! It's so epic. Nathan Fillion is incredible, Morena Baccarin is to die for and Jewel Staite might just be the most adorable thing I've ever seen. It's such a gorgeous cast, such wonderful actors, and Joss Whedon's writing is flawless! BUT okay. Enough geeking over a show.

I'm not sure if I like this better in color or in BW, but when in doubt, I usually go with color.

Have a glorious weekend, you all! :)

Week 22 — A Cotton Candy Summertime

2011-06-04T18:52:00.001+01:00

Week 22/52

June marks the beginning of the summer, for me. It's my favorite month of the year, a month that reminds me of parties, or state fairs, of lights and sound and joy and music. It's a month that holds the hopes we always have for the Summer; before it gets too hot and those hopes fall to the ground like most things do.

For so long, I wrote about the small things. I wanted to sublimate the mundane, to bring every detail to epic proportions. Now I'm running away from the trivialities of life in order to create a new reality for myself, a world in which I can make cotton candy fly and watch it swirl around me. A world where everyone is met with a smile and we can burst into song in the middle of the street.

I used to want the calm and quietness of life, but now I want it loud, I want the noises and wonders of it. I want emotion as it comes, I want to experience it all, to soak it all up, fully, madly, deeply. I wonder if it's a seasonal thing — if the Summer is somehow perfect for the insanity of true and complete emotion, and the Winter for the soft quietness of the everyday life. Maybe it's the heat, or maybe it's just the fact that we grew up being used to be free in the warm months, and confined to a home with school work up to our necks during the cold ones. I don't know.

What I do know, is that June starts my idea of Summer, and with the first day of the month comes this craving for new sensations, for joy, to go on road trips and have meaninful conversations behind the wheel; to sing and dance like we don't care in the middle of the street; To feel things wholly, without holding back. To read and write and not feel guilty about the life that I chose. To drive and drive and drive and wear nothing but flowery dresses and flip-flops. To live in a reality that can be pink or red or silver or gold, but never, ever, dull.

And all along, this longing for adventure calls from my nightstand. The presence of Kerouac there isn't at all coincidental.

[+1 in the comments, because shooting this made me so, so happy.]

Week 21 — Broken Feet

2011-05-27T18:49:00.000+01:00

Week 21/52

Last saturday, I had a movie experience of a weight that I hadn't experienced in months, even years, maybe. I saw Pina — the Wim Wenders dance movie/documentary about the life and work of the late Pina Bausch, one of my favorite choreographers. It was incredible. I teared up more times than I can count, which is quite a feat, given that I'm a girl who cries with words and because of words — and there were none in the choreographies. But what struck me more about the whole work, the process, was the abandon the dancers had, how they gave themselves so completely to that work and that choreographer, that visionary, who turned them into sculptures, into timeless pieces of art. It takes a very special kind of courage to give yourself that freely, that thoughtlessly, to an art. And this is a bit of what this photo is about.

I realized, a couple of weeks ago, that my artists' block, when it comes to photography, is mostly due to the fact that I'm stuck on beauty. I like beauty, it comforts me and makes me smile and believe that the world is pink and pretty. But I wasn't allowing myself to photograph anything that was shocking, that was raw and emotional. Because that would disturb the peace and the quietness of the beauty, and we really couldn't have that, could we?

This is my manifesto, my way of showing that I'm doing my best to throw my ties to beauty away. I need to go back to what I was years ago and see the beauty in everything, not just the conventional; not just what everyone else does. So this is why, out of possible shots, I chose this one. I love that my feet are dirty, and hurt, and bleeding (even though you can't see it here). I love that they look broken, after that hour and a half I spent en pointe, working on this piece. I can't put on shoes today because it hurts too much, but I'm still happy about this shot. Because this kind of sacrifice is tiny.

There are five more shots in the comments. I was very torn between this one and the first one there, but I went with my heart and chose the one that got the message across. Of course, other outtakes will come during the weekend and subsequent week. :)

Week 20 — dreams of lavender

2011-05-20T18:47:00.000+01:00

Week 20/52

This week is a comeback, of sorts, to the days of my 365 and the hand shots that I took when I was working on that project. There are several reasons for this week's photo to come out like this, but the first of them is the absolute lack of time. I had an amazing week, don't get me wrong. But it was busy and I didn't have much time to put together the shot I had conceived, so that one shall be saved for next week.

I went to Dublin on Wednesday morning, and returned at 3am, Thursday. I went there for the final of the Europa League, which my glorious team, F. C. Porto, was playing — and won.

It was one of the best days ever. Even the plane rides couldn't put a stain on it, they were so peaceful and I wasn't nervou at all. I took about 800 pictures, sang my throat out (I'm actually voiceless now), walked the streets of Dublin for hours, with my cousin pretending to be a guide and failing, caught up with an old friend who came with along with us, and that was lovely; partied like there was no tomorrow, was there to celebrate the goal with Falcao, right in front of him, jumped and sang and waved my scarf, and basically, had the time of my life.

One of my closest friends texted me in the afternoon to ask if everything was alright, and I think I said something along the lines of: I found out that happiness is Dublin, a Starbucks latte and a whole lot of 'portistas'. And it's true. It was complete, pure, utter bliss.

So I wanted to photograph something related to that, so I used the Starbucks mug I bought as a souvenir. The thing is, the session evolved and I ended up preferring this shot. The starbucks mug is in the comment, along with another shot. More shots of the mug (MUG SHOTS, LOL) will come in the next few days.

I hope you guys had a week as glorious as mine. And that the next one is even better!

Week 19 — In Red

2011-05-13T11:51:00.001+01:00

Week 19/52

I'm not your usual kind of romantic. I will probably laugh at flowers and a teddy bear, or at a chocolate box on Valentine's. Hell, I'll laugh at Valentine's itself, because I firmly believe that if I need a day in a year to show someone how much I love them, then there's something wrong with the relationship. I'm not up for grand gestures; I prefer the small, intimate ones.

People keep telling me that love isn't what I think it is, that it isn't about passion or about that teenage-like euphoria; that it's about building it up from the ground, from finding a partnership to starting a family. And I do agree that there's a measure of effort and of work in a relationship; anything that doesn't take work is unworthy of our time. But at the same time, I want the fireworks, you know? I want that blinding, mad, fiery passion that makes you forget everything else. I want that certainty, that firm belief that the person you're with is the person who's right for you. I don't believe in shutting everyone out simply because it's easier, because it's cleaner or safer. And I see so many people around me doing it, keeping people at bay when they should be embracing their presence. I don't want to be like that, not even if the world forces it on me. That's one of the reasons I love photographing weddings; they remind me that people still fall madly in love. I don't know. I don't even know why I'm writing this, I just woke up with this idea a couple of days ago and haven't been able to let it go. I want to be anything but bitter. I want to have an open heart, and that's a bit what this is about: a love that is fiery red, flowing in the wind.

[Many, many thanks to my darling Bé, who helped me with this shot. She's such a darling.]

Week 18 — Marvelous

2011-05-06T18:50:00.000+01:00

Week 18/52

Oh well. I guess this was channeling every person who's ever done a levitation shot. Which means... everyone.

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I like female writers, when they're serious. I like Virginia Woolf, I like the Brontë sisters, I like 20th century writers, who transformed the way people see women, going from pretty-pieces-of-furniture-slash-sexual-toys to full on, thinking human beings. I am immensely grateful to all of them. But there's one who seems to get to me in a very particular way: Anaïs Nin. I read the compilation of her diaries ('Henry and June') for the first time when I was 15. It was life changing, as is everything at that age, but it's one of the books I keep in my nightstand. So when i read this quote of hers, earlier this week, I knew I had to work my photo of the week around it:

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me.”

I'm constantly told, in my life, that I can't just do the things I like, that I have to do everything, because that's life and life is hard and yadda yadda. I know. I recognize and accept that kind of thinking, that kind of paradigm. But the truth is, if it doesn't make me smile in wonder, if it doesn't make my heart flutter with emotion, then I probably won't care much about what happens. And this is what the shot is about.

I spent most of my week writing, which gives me an immense sense of freedom, but also drains me. Writing takes so much more out of me than photography does. But the truth is, it makes me feel alive. Photography makes me feel alive through physical pain, through adrenaline, through putting myself in danger to get a cool shot; writing does that to me simply by pulling on my heart strings and allowing my fingers to run through the keyboard, through taking me by the hand and showing me that it could be like this and not like that. The muse was kind this week, and she lead me wisely through both fiction and photography.

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Week 17 — Like a Butterfly

2011-04-29T18:48:00.001+01:00

Week 17/52

This isn't normal: I have 28 possible shots for this week. You know what that makes? A WHOLE lot of outtakes. So you get SEVEN of them with this shot. And you'll be getting outtakes every day or so for the next week. I'm sorry about that.

I wanted to do something joyful this week. I finally got my butterflies in the mail, and I instantly knew I wanted to use them; they're probably my favorite prop. And I wish you guys could see them for real, because they're so delicate and beautifully made. They're gorgeous.

------

There were butterflies all around us. We had walked into a meadow and a swarm of butterflies had surrounded us, flying all around, landing on our faces, our hair, our hands. I looked at James and saw him close his eyes in delight, letting his head fall back, while David looked at him with adoration in his eyes. I remember smiling at the love my little brother had found in that writer I had introduced him to in one of our nights in town; it was a strange feeling of accomplishment, like I had intervened and changed his fate. I guess that's what we all do to each other, right? We change each other's paths, we form our lives around what people bring to us.

I remember feeling your arms snaking around my waist, and whispering to you "Don't kill any butterflies."
You whispered back "Don't worry, I didn't" and l felt your lips on my neck. It was always like that, the small intimate gestures I avoided in front of everyone else, which you gently forced into me until they didn't bother me anymore.
Ruth was walking silently behind us, as usual, her camera pointed at the beautiful colors around us. At that time, when we were twenty-one or twenty-two, she was obsessed with it, she'd take the old Hasselblad everywhere — even to the bathroom with her, which granted her a few jokes on how she would eventually drop it on the toilet or the sink, and which ended invariably with her hitting Jamie or David or me or you.
This moment, when Ruth took the pictures and you held me against your chest is the only thing that comes to mind now, in this field in Italy, so many thousand miles away from that first afternoon. And while you are the one to turn the camera on me now, I'm not as self-conscious as I was back then.

They're soft, the butterflies; you can barely feel them against your skin. I slowly raise my hand and bring the one that is resting on my index finger closer to my face; she's orange, a Monarch, and it's like she can read me. She jumps and places herself on my nose, and that's when I hear the shutter of your camera.

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One more outtake from the stupid lent novel to try to kill you all from the sheer boredom of it.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and that you forgive me for the spam that will happen in the comments and in the next few days. :)

Week 16 — The Sacrifice and the Sin

2011-04-22T17:46:00.000+01:00

Week 16/52

Today is Good Friday, which for us Catholics — and Christians in general, I believe — celebrates the death of Christ in the cross, to save us all from sin. It's also the 'ohmygodtwomoredaysuntilIgetchocolate' day. But I digress.

I've been thinking about this photo for a while, been working on the concept and the execution, getting my studio lights to work again, and right now I'm not incredibly happy with the result, but I'm not pissed about it either. I like it. I don't love it, but I might be suffering from sleep deprivation — my insomnia is back in full-force — and from that Virgina Woolf syndrome that said that the book in our head is always better than the book in our hands. Well, in this case, photograph.

But still, I wanted to make an allusion to sacrifice.

Every year, I give up the foods that I like the most during Lent. It's forty-seven days (no, not forty like they want us to believe, because apparently Sundays don't count as Lent, but I counted them anyway) of living without chocolate, McDonald's and Francesinhas. Last year it wasn't so hard; I had a ton of emotional problems to work through, so I kind of forgot about the food, but this year? This year was hell. I've been dreaming about eating chocolate for the past three weeks, and having my family own a bakery above which I live doesn't help. But still, I'm here and I'm alive and I didn't break my lent, which makes me feel good.

I don't do Lent for the purpose most Christians do, which s the purification of the soul and the riddance of sins. I don't believe in sin as the church puts it; I believe the sin is the act you commit while knowing you're causing harm to someone, and you're doing it on purpose, so while I do have some of those, I don't think every side step I take is a sin. So I never feel the need to cleanse myself of those, since I can pretty much do it on my own through prayer or meditation — or better, by apologizing. But at the same time, doing Lent gives me this spiritual rush, as if I was proving to myself how strong I can be when I put my mind into it. I'm flaky most of the time, and I don't have any self-control or discipline when it comes to the trivial things in life, like food or exercise or other small habits. But this was proof that I could do it. And I'm very, very glad I did it.

If I don't talk to you guys before sunday, I hope you have a blessed Easter. I'll be sitting on the corner courting a three-layer-chocolate cake.

Week 15 — The Girl who Fell

2011-04-16T19:00:00.001+01:00

Week 15/52

While I had wanted to take a different photograph for the weekly shot, I ended up using my favourite out of the Sanatorium ones. It happened mostly for two reasons, the first of which is that my grip-with-a-remote-control-included seems to be taking forever to do the 5km between the customs office and my place, so I'm remoteless; the second reason is that I sort of fell in love with this photo as soon as I finished it. There, I said it. For once, I like the weekly shot.

-----

"What if we fall", Clarissa asked with the rise of an eyebrow. It seemed almost as if she didn't mind the fall or the aftermath of it; as if she didn't have anything better to do with her time than to risk to die in a gruesome way.

Matthew shrugged, looking through the well.
"Back in the day, we wouldn't have thought about it twice."
She rolled her eyes but couldn't keep a smile from showing up on her face. "We were young. And stupid. We're neither now."
"I think we're still pretty..."
"If you say 'stupid', I swear to God I'll throw you down the well myself."
"I was going to say 'young'."
She smiled. "Good. Good boy."
They were silent for a minute or two, each contemplating the square windows that covered the dark pit.
"So?"
Clarissa pulled the cover over it again and turned around.
"Come on, stupid. I'm not going to kill myself when there's a chocolate cake in the oven."

"As simple as that, huh?"

----

Again, letting you in on the outtakes of my very tiny and very bad Lent novel. OH, there's only a week and two days left! CHOCOLATE! Please come my way! :D

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Week #14 — Underneath the Fall

2011-04-12T15:46:00.000+01:00

Week 14/52

I almost didn't post this week. I'm not at all satisfied with how this shot came out, but I made a commitment, right? So here it is. And I just remembered I'll have to sing (alone) in public next Monday. OH GOD. I'm so screwed.

I'm in a very strange place, art-wise. And in the past few days, I have been giving a lot of thought to the concept of artistic integrity. It's been on my mind, especially because of this project, because I am so often torn between posting a photo that I truly love or posting another that I know will be popular, that will give me reviews and recognition.

Lately, I've been leaning more and more towards posting the works that I love instead of the ones I know will get more comments or favorites or notes; that usually ends up with me depressed and pissed at myself when I don't get the kind of reception I had expected. And I'm not blaming you, my darling viewers, because I know that if something is strange enough, it will keep you from saying something. It keeps ME from saying something. I am, however, blaming myself for caving, most times, and for posting the one I know will be loved and seen.

And now I'm calling it 'caving'. Really? Just because you post a photo you know will be popular instead of an artistic one, does it mean you lose your integrity? Does it mean you give up on what you believe? It's an incredibly complicated choice to make, and I usually go with the compromise: an artsy shot with a pretty outtake, or the other way around. That's how it's going to work this week. But I'm still not satisfied.

To think that I had to climb onto a waterfall and nearly killed myself, and now I don't even like the shot.

———

On a different subject, I found this site that allows you to write an email to the future and receive it on a date you set yourself. I wrote my email today, and while I was expecting to write a couple of lines, I ended up with three pages and a smile on my face. I wonder how I'll be in a year and a half. I wonder if New York will work out, I wonder if it'll change me. I wonder if I'll still be alone or if I'll find someone to recreate that 'For Lovers Only' teaser with me. I wonder if I'll still be me.

Note: If anyone knows who this texture belongs to, please let me know through PM? I can't find the source. I had never used it, so I didn't take note at the time I downloaded it and now I don't know who it belongs to. :/

Oh, and please press 'L'?

And don't forget to follow me on twitter!

Week #13 — The Invisible Girl

2011-04-12T15:45:00.002+01:00

Week 13/52

Despite the fact that I took another 'photo of the week' yesterday, I couldn't help myself. I had to post my favourite shot out of the Sanatorium series, because I love it so darn much, and I thought it was better than anything else I might have taken this week. So here it is.

This is dark. The whole series is, but this photo and the two others that compose this moment within the series (which can be seen in the comments), are darker than anything else. I think it's because it coincides with the first time that afternoon that I felt like I was shooting completely alone. Luís and Diego were on the other side of the building with my teacher and I was finally on my own, in that terrifying place, and I finally allowed myself to breathe. Before that, I'd been shooting near them, but this time I was on my own. So I just took a moment and saw that light and put myself in the middle of it.

The weather is absolutely marvelous here; it's warm and sunny, so I'm just a couple of minutes away from moving this party to my rooftop, along with my guitar and a cold lemonade, and just enjoy an afternoon of fun and music. The mood right now is very different from that of the picture, so I hope you all have the most lovely weekend, and that your lives are filled with joy!

OH, and in case you want to see the rest of the series, it's here!

Week #12 — Clarissa's Breakdown

2011-04-12T15:41:00.004+01:00

Week 12/52

I remember Jamie’s look as he stopped the car and turned it off. He didn’t look straight at me, looking outside his window first, as if he was gathering up the courage to say something. The words died in his mouth, though, when I opened my own door and stepped out.

I walked for a couple of seconds, and then I ran. It was a very large piece of land, so I ran for a minute or two, feeling the two of them not too far behind me. I brought my hand up to my face as I started to feel the moisture, and realized I was actually crying. Finally.

What I remember the most about the time this picture was taken was the mixture of feelings, the sense of grief and relief at the same time. I hadn’t cried yet. Not when Matthew had left, not when I was at the hospital and the doctor had told me the fetus didn’t have a heartbeat. Something inside of me had hardened the night Matthew and I had fought and he had slammed the door on my face, and as I ran down that field, I could feel that same hardness melting away, dissolving into the tears that were streaming down my face. I know I stopped, I let my head fall back and I took a deep breath. That’s when I heard the click. The shot was taken.

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Again, I'm flooding you with bits and parts of the novel I'm writing, parts that are being cut or heavily edited, so there's no harm in showing them off. Please bear in mind that these are first drafts. If you care to read the rest of the scene, you can do it in my writing blog.

I'm taking a huge risk here, because I'm well aware that this is not the commercial 'oh everybody likes it' kind of shot. The thing is, I'm sort of in love with it. Batshit, crazy in love with the damn shot and with the fact that I hadn't been able to make something like... this in a while. And the best part is that I don't need to be in that dark place to do it, now. This was supposed to be a light photoshoot. I laughed like a maniac as I rolled around in the grass, alone, as I twirled with my arms spread wide. It was an unbelievably joyful afternoon. But then for a couple of minutes, I got serious. Not sad, not desperate, just serious. And this came out.

Week #11 — The Occasional Sleepover

2011-04-12T15:37:00.002+01:00

Week 11/52

This is the perfect example of the shot that looked so much better in my mind, but with the tiny window of time I had to actually shoot, and with the crappy sunlight (this was supposed to be shot at sunset or dawn) and everything going wrong, this ended up being the result. Blah.

---

"I keep having this dream" Clarissa's words were soft, almost inaudible against the sounds of the morning in the Piazza. He briefly considered getting up and closing the window, but he threw that thought aside as he turned on his side and watched her face. "That I wake up in a rooftop, as if it were my bed."

"Which rooftop?"

"New York. Your old apartment in the Village." she smiles a little, but he still senses the tension, the trouble she has sharing these kinds of things. "And around me there's a bunch of lamps. Old, oily lamps, all hanging from nowhere."

She turns slightly, laying on her side with her face to him. Clarissa tries to hide her embarrassment by hiding part of her face in the pillow, but she knows he can read through her. He always could. "It's almost like an urban fairytale."

Matthew laughs softly, in the same way he'd laugh at a child's idle joke.

"Aren't you quite the urban princess."

"I am."

So, this is a scene I cut from the Lent Novel. It's lousy, but it's what inspired me in the first place, so it deserves to be here.

I have a hard time with dreams, most of the time. I dream every night, I don't know what it's like to sleep dreamlessly, and the dreams are usually either immensely funny or incredibly upsetting. It's not uncommon for me to wake up crying or laughing like a maniac, but I have learned how to deal and push them aside when they're bad, and to find strength in them when they're good. It's just that quirky, silly fact about me. I will always dream, and I will always feel like everything is going wrong when I wake up, but that's a part of who I am and it's not about to change. :)

I hope you all have a truly wonderful weekend, and that all your dreams are as fairytale-like as mine. :)

Week 10 — A World of Magic

2011-03-11T19:54:00.001Z

Week 10/52

I sat around on tuesday, thinking that exhausted as I was, I didn't have a proper theme or setting for this week's photo. I was starting to panic a bit, because by tuesday I usually have a theme and a scheme for the photo, and this week I had nilch. Nada. Zero. So I asked myself what was the most important issue in my mind at the moment, and came up with two things: my little sister's surgery next week, and my novel.

I decided to write a Lent novel as a catharsis. When I allowed myself to go down last fall, I stopped reading, I stopped doing any of the things I normally did. But as I got better, I realized I could measure it by my reading; the more I read, the better i felt. I'm back to a minimum of one novel per week, and I absolutely love it. And I'm back to writing, which is an inefable relief, since I hadn't been able to do it for a while.

Words have been my weapon of wield since long before photography. When I still didn’t know I wanted to be a photographer, I knew I would spend my life writing, even if it was as a hobby. There’s a quality in words, which is almost... other worldly. This is what this shot is about, the magic that comes from a book or a fairytale. Images can stunn you at first, and make you think, and make your stomach bubble with joy or emotion, but words? Words, when properly arranged, can take you out of this reality, and throw you into something so much better. Or so much worse, if that’s your thing. Both things change us, and they’re both important. They complement each other; words go where the image can’t, and when you run out of them, the beauty of a graphic representation steps in.

One thing I ask of God is that He allow me to keep my innocence and my ability to be marveled by art. To be swept off my feet by a simple image, to feel that flutter in my stomach when I read the first paragraph of The End of the Affair, or to get teary eyed when I listen to Vivaldi’s Gloria. That innocence, I think, is what is always going to bring me back, put me back on my feet. Because as long as there’s art, I’m safe.

And don't forget to enter my print giveaway!

Week 9 — A Belief System

2011-03-06T21:22:00.002Z

What do you believe in? Do you believe in angels? Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that you're destined to do something, that you were put upon this Earth to perform one specific task, to learn one specific skill? Do you believe in God? Do you believe in many gods, or in one alone? Do you believe in Jesus, or Mohammed, or Buda or any other perceived diety? Do you believe in good and evil? Do you believe that life is black and white, or do you stand for the shades of grey? Do you believe in salvation? Do you believe in the religious version of salvation, or the human kind, the kind where people redeem themselves? Do you believe in second chances? Do you believe in fate telling you something when you see someone passing you by on the street? Do you believe in love, or do you believe in the chemistry that goes on in the brain that makes the world go fuzzy and all the songs make sense? Do you believe in passion, and do you think it can be as destructive as obsession? Do you believe in the good in people? Do you believe they can do bad things when they're fundamentally good? Do you believe in sin? Do you believe in forgiveness. Would you forgive? Would you forget? Do you believe in new beginnings? Do you believe in baggage preventing you from getting that new beginning? Do you believe in the goodness of life?

And the most important question of all, do you have faith? Not just in God or religion, but do you have faith in life, in love and in the people around you?

(and yes, I do.)

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Week 8 — For Lovers Only

2011-02-24T21:20:00.000Z

Week 8/52

The title is stolen from the Polish Brothers movie of the same name, that is yet to come out but which I'm already obsessed with.

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I'm not in love with this shot. I hate my bunny teeth and I'm not happy with a lot of it. But I felt compelled to post it, anyway. I have no idea why.

I had the absolute craziest week ever, work-wise, and I only had time to actually prepare everything for the photo yesterday morning, and knowing I had plans yesterday afternoon and for all of the day today. To make matters better, I didn't have access to my studio for as long as I needed and my remote broke down. So I had to make do. This is a bit of a comeback to the photos from my 365, with natural light, no textures and soft colors. I actually wanted to do something different, to use the texture within the subject and not in post-production, and that's what the tulle is there for. The inspiration for the shooting was also the trailer of the movie I mentioned above, with my currently-favorite actress, Stana Katic. I wanted something that felt as intimate and as gloriously romantic as that trailer feels. And damn, I can't wait to see the movie! :)

[+3 outtakes in the comments, becaus they're too close to this one for me to post later.]

EDIT: Here's the link to the trailer, in case you want to take a peek:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qss42Va35Tg

Week 7: she breathes rainbows

2011-02-18T19:25:00.000Z

This photo came out competely different from the idea that I had in the beginning of the week. I was supposed to work with lettering and words, but got tired of that idea and saw the fabric, the colorful felt laying around in the studio. Yes, the rainbow is made of felt, that I sticked to the wall. LOL. I know, it's incredibly silly, but I was in love with this idea of the girl that exhaled rainbows and everything was so pink and pretty and I just went with it. I actually like the result; it isn't as dramatic as the previous ones, but I think it can be equally deep.

My anthem for the week was 'Let it Rain', by the always lovely and overly-mentioned-in-my-photos Sara Bareilles. And the lyrics are something like this:

I want to darken in the skies

Open the floodgates up

I want to change my mind

I want to be enough

I want the water in my eyes

I want to cry until the end of time

I want to let the rain come down

Make a brand new ground

Let the rain come down

Make a brand new ground

Let the rain come down tonight

I hold on to worry so tight

It's safe in here right next to my heart

Who now shouts at the top of her voice

Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice

And I always felt it before

That the world was filled with much more

Than the drowning soul I've learned to be

I just need the rain to remind me.

And this is pretty much what this is about. Let the rain come, make a brand new ground. Suffering is requires for happiness to come; you need to let go of old skins in order to get new, better ones. So I just need to learn how to let go. Let the rain fall, wash everything away, so something new and wonderful can grow.

Week 6: a girl and her guitar

2011-02-11T19:22:00.002Z

I'm taking a bit of a risk with this one. It's my favorite shot from the whole batch, but it's monochrome, and I don't usually go with monochrome in these projects. But still, I love it. And to appease the color-seeking minds, a similar version, in color, is in the comments. And as usual, one of the textures is Pareeeerica's and another one is mine. :)

----

I don't think it's a secret to anyone here, how much I love music. And if you had told me, when I was in college, that I would actually be studying music now, I'd laugh in your face. But life has a way of coming back and biting you in the ass, even with good things, so I have come to realize, lately, that I am incredibly lucky to do what I do now. I study in a school that is welcoming, warm, made incredible friends there and I'm now part of a choir that is made of pure brilliance. I'm taking guitar lessons and voice lessons and I'm getting there, I'm learning and I'm allowing music to be a part of my life.

I have also realized, these past few months, that I have this almost pathological need to express myself. Perhaps that's what makes me an (wannabe!) artist, but I can't just sit and think and listen and not say anything. I need to express myself somehow, that's how I survive. And I have been blessed with the means to do it, whether it's through photography, through writing, through painting or through music. I am unbelievably lucky.

I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful weekend, my darlings. :)

Week 5: The Courtesan Asleep

2011-02-04T23:28:00.001Z

Week 5/52

Characters are a good thing. They free us from ourselves, they allow us to take action where we normally wouldn't, they make us see things with a different set of eyes. That's why I always envied actors so much: they get to do it for a living. But the thing is, I can do it too. I do it for less time, usually for a few hundred frames, and then let it go. Or not. I can also live in this character for a day, for a week, when I write. And this, what you see in the photo above, is the culmination of both. I am writing this character right now, and at the same time I'm photographing her. She's a courtesan in Paris in the beginning of the 20th century, like Satine on Moulin Rouge; like Jane Avril in the Toulouse-Lautrec posters or Olympia in Manet's painting. That was exactly my goal with this photo. A painting-like feel (using my new lights, which I am LOVING) and the bohemian feeling. It's up to you, dear readers/viewers, to decide if I succeeded or not.

This photo is also an homage to the week that I had, in which I had so much fun that it seemed almost obscene. I went to an erotic fair last night (YES. LOL.) and one of the lectures I attended was given by this absolutely stunning guy, who besides being gorgeous also knew a couple of things about sex (heee! every girl in that room was drooling and sighing, I tell you). And he said something that made me think: It's not about how much pleasure someone gives you, it's about how much pleasure you allow yourself to feel.

This applies to every field of our lives; most of the time, we keep good things from coming our way by being negative — we don't allow ourselves to be fully happy. I know I did this a lot this week; feeling guilty for feeling so happy, for having so much fun, when I should... what? be productive? have a tamer mind? be a good girl and stay at home and in the kitchen? I had fun with friends and alone and reading and doing the things I usually do, but I felt guilty. And that's so ridiculous.

From now on, I want to do my best to live my life fully; to allow myself to accept pleasure with the same willingness I accept pain; to live epically, to love epically and to allow myself to be loved back. I'm tired of settling. I'm tired of the school of thought that made me think 'oh, maybe he'll love me later on' or 'I should not argue with her, she's a complicated person'. Screw that. Life's too short not to be lived to its fullest, and settling is not a part of that. I want to love epically, and I want to rise and fall and do it all, but I want to do it for real. And if I need characters like this woman for that, then hell yes, I'll do it.

[This week will have an exception; I'll post an outtake below, because it's so close to the original that I won't post it later, that's for sure. So you get two photos for the price of one!]

Week 4 — The Scars on her Back

2011-01-28T18:05:00.002Z

Week 4/52

I wanted to do something different this week, something without textures, but they got the best of me again. I'm just in love with the textured look, and I think it looks much better with the square size. So bear with me, this mania shall go away soon. And again, some of the textures are Pareeeerica's, some are my own and some others are textures that I've had for 4/5 years and that I can't find the credit for. So really, if you recognize any of them, let me know through PM and I'll credit then!

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When I visited my college for the first time, they took us down to the restoration workshops, where we would spend the greater part of the years to follow. I was in awe. I thought I could change the world one painting at a time, and most of all, I thought I could paint and still be able to say 'hey, I'm a restorer! I'm doing something useful with my life!' — which was foolish, because no matter how useful and amazing the craft is (and it REALLY is), it was never for me. Still, I was very green about the whole thing, thinking that I could just tweak this and tweak that and erase all that was bad and keep all that was good. And as this girl took us on the tour, she stopped us in front of a painting, a huge dark thing, which I think is still there, to this day. It was torn, ripped, had paint coming off everywhere — basically, it was a wreck, so she stood in front of it and asked us all "What would you do? Would you paint over it all?"

I thought to myself "Of course", but being the painfully shy thing that I am when I'm intimidated — and I really was intimidated, visiting college after a year of dealing with daily full-on panic attacks — I kept to myself. But someone said the words for me, and this girl smiled and shook her head.

"Actually, we don't. These pathologies you see, these accidents, they're a part of the piece's history. They're a part of what defines the painting, of the path that took it to where it is now. It's not our job to erase history. We will control the pathologies, we'll keep them from harming the painting any more than they already have, but we won't eliminate the scars. You'll still see that there was something there."

I keep thinking, as people, that we work in the exact same way. These past few months haven't been easy on me, emotionally or physically, and they left me covered in tears and rips. But those figurative rips, those scars, are what makes me who I am now. And I love each and every one of them. I have an actual scar on the lower side of my stomach, from the appendectomy I got when I was 14, and I absolutely adore it. I actually celebrate it, because it reminds me of a day when I was unbelievably brave. So why should I treat the other scars differently? They are all there for a reason, and they do weigh on me sometimes, but they're a part of my path. And what I make of them defines who I am.

It's up to us to be the restorers, here. It's up to us to take the rips, sew them up and make them as pretty as we can, because that's what we're here to do. We have that choice, even if sometimes it feels like we don't. And that's what makes life so damn brilliant.

[I am SO sorry for how long this is. I'm impossible, I know. I talk too much. And a 'thank you' note is in order, to my friend Carlos Neto, who sort of brought up this issue for me in a post he made on a friend's photo. :) ]

Week 3 — the girl and the light

2011-01-21T17:12:00.002Z

Week 3/52

This week was anything but easy. Two robberies in the family, two hard dates to deal with and a whole lot of darkness left me completely devoid of inspiration for this week's shot. So I did what I usually do when I'm uninspired: I got my things and went up to the rooftop, armed with a dress, a set of jars and candles and my camera. I sat there for an hour and thought. I let everything run through my mind: how hopeless I am about the years to come, how I can't deal with the things I should be able to deal with, at this age. How much I miss him and how every day I want to talk to him. How my life changed this week and how I have to adjust. How I wish I had taken another 365, to keep my mind busy. How volunteering wasn't what I thought it would be. And then, at some point, things started to look better.

I started to think about the set of studio lights that I have on their way, about the summer days that are yet to come, about the road trips I'm starting to schedule. I started to remember good things; late-afternoons in the park, golden hours at that same rooftop. Afternoons of fun with friends, of pure joy and laughter, that I hope to find again sometime in the future.

The light came to me again, and I found myself smiling and getting ready for this shot. Because, if you look carefully, it's all about light. It's all about the candles you light and how you nurture them and keep them alive. It's all about keeping your happiness close to you. And even when that source of happiness can't be close to you, even when you're not strong enough yet to look at that flame, you know that it's still there, and that if you're meant to be connected to that source, sometime, you will be. You just have to take one day at a time and deal with things as they come.

One day at a time, right? And a smile on your face. :)

Week 2 — Flowers for her Hair

2011-01-14T15:15:00.003Z

Last week, I was at the market and passed by some hydrangeas on a stand. I was with my mom, and while she gathered things, I tried to keep my sister distracted, but my eyes remained on the flowers. I started to imagine them growing, taking over the stand, sweet-scented tentacles growing and surrounding other flowers, embracing them. And then I another image came to my mind, the image of Medusa's hair made of snakes, of how they moved like tentacles. My mind was off the flowers, and I moved it to something else. Still, somehow, in the next few days, those two ideas ran into each other in my mind over and over again. I kept picturing Caravaggio's Medusa and replacing the hair with flowers, with the hydrangeas I'd seen. So I wrote it down. Yesterday, I actually drew the scheme for the photo, and what came out was something so much lighter, so much more... pink. And the darkness sort of faded away. This turned from a picture of despair, of insanity, into a girl with an uncontrollable mane made of flowers. And I sort of love it, because that is so much more like me than that darkness ever was.

Week 1 - The World in her Hands

2011-01-07T16:14:00.003Z

This photo was supposed to be about a certain garter belt and the stuff that comes with, but when I started to take the photos, I realized it's actually about beauty. A great part of this project will be about beauty, I can tell you now, because I firmly believe that it's the only thing that can save us. It's not just exterior beauty, pink or gold or things we like to look at; it's the kind of beauty that makes your heart start beating rapidly in your chest, the kind of beauty that makes your stomach jump with joy, and that makes your fingers tingle with the need to touch it, to experience it with your hands (note: if you're in the Borghese Gallery, you might want to rethink this part. I'm just saying). It's about a world that can be filled with butterflies and flowers, if we want it to. We just have to smile and be happy.

I hope you're all gloriously happy this week!

52 Weeks

2011-01-07T16:01:00.002Z

Olá gente!

Espero que tenham começado 2011 da melhor forma possível, e que estejam prontos para começar esta nova etapa com um sorriso!

Eu já dei início a um novo desafio, o 52 Weeks. É um projecto semelhante ao 365 Days — também com auto-retratos — embora só se publique uma foto por semana. Este espaço de tempo entre as publicações permite que o trabalho fotográfico e de concepção seja mais demorado, que as ideias amadureçam e que o trabalho final tenha mais qualidade. Por isso cá estamos! O dia que eu escolhi para publicação das fotos é a sexta-feira; publicá-las-ei no Flickr e aqui no blogue. Durante o resto da semana, se tiverem curiosidade, vejam no flickr as fotografias extra, que eu vou publicando!

Desejem-me sorte!

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Hi people,

I hope you started 2011 in the best possible way, and that you're ready to face this new beginning with a smile on your face!

I have already begun a new challenge: a 52 Weeks project. It's similar to my 365 Days — also with self-portraits — though it only requires you to post a photo once a week. This time between posts allows us to work properly on conception and the maturation of ideas, and allows for a better final result. So here we are! I chose Fridays as my publishing day, and I'll be uploading the photos both here and on flickr. If you're curious, check my flickr during the week and see the outtakes I'll be posting regularly!

Wish me luck! :)

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T16:55:00.001Z

Espero que todos os meus seguidores e visitantes tenham um óptimo final de 2010 e um 2011 maravilhoso! Encontramo-nos aqui, no ano que vem!

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I hope all of my followers and visitors have a lovely end of 2010, and a marvelous 2011! I'll see you here, next year!

Photo post #45: Project 365 — The End

2010-12-16T13:05:00.002Z

Há exactamente um ano, fiz um post a mostrar o início do meu projecto 365. Este projecto consistiu em tirar um auto-retrato todos os dias, durante um ano, ou seja, 365 dias. Os meus 365 dias acabaram ontem, com a última foto do projecto. Como é de esperar, fiquei felicíssima com o facto de ter conseguido completar um projecto que é tudo menos fácil, mas ao mesmo tempo fica um vazio. Durante um ano, tive uma actividade regular, um propósito diário, que hoje já me faz falta. Mas estas férias durarão apenas 15 dias, porque no início de 2011 começarei um 52 Semanas, um projecto semelhante, embora semanal.

Ao contrário das outras vezes, não vou colocar aqui todas as fotos; ficará apenas a última. Quem desejar ver o último mês do projecto pode seguir o link para o Flickr (está na sidebar), e vê-las uma por uma com a descrição, que é a forma como devem ser vistas. Aproveito também para agradecer a todos os que têm comentado e que me têm dado apoio, para que eu possa fazer o que mais gosto. Este projecto não teria chegado onde chegou sem a vossa presença! Muito obrigada!

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Exactly a year ago, I made a post here to show the beginning of my 365 project. The project consisted in posting one self-portrait every day for a year — 365 days. My 365 days reached their end yesterday. As expected, I was incredibly happy for finishing a project that is anything but easy, but at the same time it's bittersweet. For a year, I had a regular activity, a daily project, and I miss it already. Still, this pause will only last for two weeks, since I'm starting a 52 weeks project in the beginning of 2011!

I won't post all the photos here, like I have before. If you wish to see the last month, you can click the flickr link on the sidebar and see the photos one by one, with their description, like they were meant to be seen. Here, I'll just post the last one. I'll also take this opportunity to thank you all for commenting and for being here, allowing me to do what I love the most. This project wouldn't have come as far without your presence! Thank you!

Cover: MAEVE Magazine!

2010-11-09T21:45:00.002Z

Há cerca de um mês fui contactada para ter um dos meus auto-retratos como capa de uma publicação que eu adoro: a MAEVE Magazine. A MAEVE é uma revista online que sai semestralmente, cheia de artigos deliciosos, de fotografias fantásticas e de pedaços de arte que a tornam um verdadeiro prazer de se ler! Eu aconselho vivamente!

Finalmente, cá está a capa! Espero que gostem! É graças ao apoio de muitos de vocês que eu consigo continuar a trabalhar naquilo que mais gosto, por isso um muito obrigada!

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About a month ago I was contacted to have one of my self-portraits on the cover of a publication I love: MAEVE Magazine. MAEVE is a semestral online magazine, filled with delicious articles, fantastic photos and pieces of art that make it a pleasure to read and to look at. E highly recommend it!

Finally, here's the cover! I hope you like it! It's due to the support of so many of you that I can work in the craft that I love, so thank you all so much!

Photo post #44: Fátima

2010-11-08T13:22:00.002Z

Uma viagem de família ao Santuário de Fátima, em Agosto, deu origem a estas fotos!

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A family trip to the Sanctuary of Fatima, last August, originated these shots!

FILM:

DIGITAL

Photo post #44: Boa Vista!

2010-11-08T13:19:00.002Z

Em Setembro, tive o prazer de passar férias com a minha família na ilha da Boa Vista, em Cabo Verde. Como sempre, adorei estar em África e o cenário inspirou-me para mais uma série de auto-retratos. Aqui ficam os ditos, mais algumas fotos da viagem!

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I had the pleasure of spending a family holiday, last September, in Boa Vista, one of the Cape Verdian islands. As usual, I loved being in Africa and the scenery inspired me to start a series of self-portraits. Here are those and a few more photos, taken during the trip.

And so she sits and waits, her eyes fixed on the sky. She is waiting for a plane; a plane she knows won't pass by that particular bit of sky, but she stares anyway. And while she stares, a roll of prayers, small sentences and words of worship leave her lips, almost unnoticed.

After sometime, she is finally able to take a deep breath and rest her chin on her closed fist. Her eyes are still in the turquoise sky, as she sees one, two, three airplanes pass by. She knows it's none of those. But she keeps on waiting.

SERIES: NORTHERN AFRICA

She wakes up in the sand, her feet and hands sore from struggling. It's like a pathway, a road to a place she knows she's been to, a place she somehow recognizes. Nothing makes sense. There's green and there's sand, there's the sky and the ocean. It's a place, somewhere. But all she knows about this place is that she feels incomplete. A part of herself is missing. And as she stares down at her stomach, she knows exactly what.

There's a beauty in a reflection, a beauty that she's always recognized. When she hung out in her father-the-king's gardens, they were peaceful and graceful. Now they're tormented. But there's still a majestic look to them. That's what tells her she isn't home.

Photo post #43: 365

2010-11-08T12:44:00.002Z

Perdoem-me, mas esta vai ser a verdadeira descarga de fotos! Espero que gostem!

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Forgive me, but this is going to be a complete photo dump! I hope you like them!

Photo post #42: Film

2010-11-08T12:24:00.002Z

No mês de Agosto, o ponto alto foi a compra da minha Pentax Spotmatic, e as minhas primeiras aventuras no campo da fotografia de 35mm, desde que mudei para digital. Confesso que diverti imenso — e continuo a divertir, agora a fazer revelações e afins em casa! Ficam aqui alguns dos primeiros trabalhos!

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The highlight of my August was buying my Pentax Spotmatic, and having my first adventure with 35mm film after making the change to digital. I had a blast, and I'm still having fun, now moving onto developing film at home! Here are some of the first pieces!

We're back!

2010-11-08T12:19:00.002Z

Olá a todos!

Depois de umas férias em que estive ocupada a montar o site oficial para a marca Luminous Photography (está quase pronto!) estou de volta ao blogue! Vou postar a partir de hoje algumas das melhores fotos do meu flickr, tanto do 365 — que está quase no fim! — como de outros temas!

Espero que gostem das fotografias que se seguem, e que tenham uma semana maravilhosa!

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Hi everyone!

After a long hiatus, during which I was busy putting together the site for Luminous Photography (it's almost ready!), I'm back to the blog! From today on, I'll be posting some of my best flickr work, from my 365 — which is almost over! — and other themes!

I hope you like the work that will follow this message, and that you have a wonderful week!

Photo post #41: Selected works out of 365!

2010-07-29T02:29:00.002+01:00

Eu sei, eu sei, tenho andado desaparecida! Mas estou de volta, e espero conseguir postar fotos com mais regularidade! No entretanto, se quiserem ir vendo as minhas fotos diárias, entre posts, têm o link na sidebar, que vos dirige para o meu flickr. :)

Cá vão as minhas favoritas do 365!

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I know, I know, I've been MIA! But I'm back, and I expect to be able to post more regularly! Meanwhile, if you want to check out my daily updates, feel free to click on the link on the sidebar, and you'll see my flickr page! :)

Here go my favorites from 365!

photo post #40: Best of 365

2010-06-07T18:20:00.002+01:00

E agora, as melhores do 365!

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And now, on to the best of 365!

photo post #39: Series

2010-06-07T18:06:00.002+01:00

Reparei há uns tempos que tenho tendência a fazer as coisas em séries. Tirar fotos segundo um tema ou tratamento, segundo uma maneira de ver, uma perspectiva, uma temática. Estas duas séries foram feitas para o 365, mas são completamente independentes disse, especialmente a do Anjo, que vem de alguns estudos que eu fiz no (pseudo) mestrado e na licenciatura. De qualquer forma, espero que gostem de ambas.

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I noticed a while back that I have a tendency to do things in series. I shoot according to a theme or treament, a way of seeing, a perspective. The two following series were done in the spirit of 365, but can be seen as completely independent, especially the Angel one, since it's got elements from my (pseudo) master's and my college years. Anyway, I hope you like them!

Na Caixa / In the Box

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A Queda do Anjo / The Fall of the Angel

photo post #38: Yellow Flowers

2010-06-07T18:00:00.002+01:00

Há umas semanitas, resolvi tirar a tarde para me aventurar pelas profundezas de Vila Nova de Gaia. Lá encontrei um cantinho ao pé de casa da minha mãe, onde estive sozinha e sossegada a tirar fotos. Escusado será dizer que com a minha alergia ao pólen e aquela quantidade mórbida de flores amarelas, a coisa não acabou muito bem. Mas vá, as fotos até ficaram fofas!

A couple of weeks ago I decided to take the afternoon to explore the depths of Vila Nova de Gaia, a neighbor town. I settled on a corner near my mother's house, where I was all lonely and quiet, shooting as I pleased. Obviously, with my allergy to pollen and that amount of yellow flowers, it did not end up well. But oh, the photos are kind of pretty.

photo post #37: FRONTPAGES

2010-06-07T17:40:00.003+01:00

O ponto alto do Explore é ter uma photo na frontpage do Flickr, aquela para onde as pessoas são dirigidas mal entram. Eu tive duas, e fiquei para lá de feliz!

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The highlight of Explore is having a photo on Flickr's frontpage, the one people are directed to when they enter the site. I was lucky enough to have two, and I was beyond happy. :)

photo post #36: Explored!

2010-04-28T13:04:00.002+01:00

Não sei toda a gente que lê o blogue conhece o Explore. É basicamente uma elite diária do Flickr, onde estão as 500 melhores fotos do dia, dos milhões de uploads que são feitos. Estas são escolhidas mediante as visitas, comentários e favoritos. Aqui estão as minhas que foram recentemente exploradas! Algumas já saíram do Explore (está sempre a funcionar) mas continuam a contar como exploradas. Outras entraram recentemente, como a do 365 de ontem! Espero que gostem!

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I don't know if everyone here knows what Explore is. It's basically a Flickr Elite, where the 500 picked photos of the day are, out of the millions of daily uploads. These re chosen by comments, views and favorites. Here are my most recent ones! Some of them aren't on explore anymore, but still count as explored. Others got in recently, like my yesterday 365. I hope you like them?

Photo post #35: Barcelona 2008

2010-04-28T12:54:00.003+01:00

Estava estupidamente aborrecida, no outro dia, e resolvi tratar algumas fotos da minha viagem a Barcelona, em Outubro de 2008. As fotos foram tiradas com a D40, o que quer dizer que a qualidade não é... pronto, não é a da D300s.

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I was terribly bored the other night, and I decided to process some of the photos from my trip to Barcelona, in October 2008. These were taken with my D40, so the quality is... well, it's not as good as the D300s. Let's just say that.

photo post #34: Macaron Love!

2010-04-28T12:47:00.004+01:00

Pronto, eu decidi tentar outra vez. Lá fiz Macarons. E de 50, saíram 3 bem. É só o que eu tenho a dizer.

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Alright, I did it again. I made macarons. Out of fifty, three came out well. That's all I have to say.

Photo post #33: 365 sans explore!

2010-04-28T12:35:00.002+01:00

Eu sei, eu sei! Estive tanto tempo longe! Mas a minha vida tem andado tão ocupada, mal tenho tido tempo para preparar um post a sério! Mas vamos lá pôr as coisas em dia!

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I know, I know! I've been away for so long! But life has been so busy, I barely had time to sit down and write a proper entry. Well now, I'll catch up with you guys!

photo post #32: 365 + EXPLORE!

2010-04-01T01:37:00.002+01:00

Here's the best of the latest 365!

The photo above got Explored, on Flickr! It was my first time on explore, and I couldn't have been happier! It was such an honor. :)

photo post #31: Foooooood!

2010-04-01T01:30:00.002+01:00

Está bem, está bem, eu confesso. Eu tenho um fraco enorme por fotografar comida. Se calhar é por adorar comer, ou por também adorar cozinhar. A verdade é que é um tipo de fotografia que me põe sempre bem-disposta. Isso, e a minha lente nova. f1.8 de pura maravilha! :D

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Alright, alright, I admit to ti. I have a huge thing for photographing food. Maybe it's because I love to eat, or because I also love to cook. Either way, it's a kind of photography that makes me joyful every time. Well, that and my new lens. f1.8 of pure wonder! :D

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Photo post #30: Botanical Garden

2010-04-01T01:18:00.002+01:00

Há duas semanas, passei a tarde com a minha avó, a minha tia e uma amiga nossa no Jardim Botânico, numa exposição de orquídeas. Como é óbvio, diverti-me imenso a fotografá-las a todas!

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Two weeks ago, I spent an afternoon at the Botanical Garden with my Grandmother, Aunt and a friend of the family, visiting an orchid exhibit. Of course, I had a wonderful time photographing them all.

I'm slightly obsessed with doors, can you tell? :p

Photo post #29: 365 Ahead!

2010-03-14T01:47:00.002Z

Aqui estão as minhas últimas, do 365!

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Here are my latest 365 shots!

Photo post #28: Tea in the Park

2010-03-14T01:31:00.002Z

Há duas semanas, uma amiga que conheci através do fabuloso NaNoWriMo fez 18 anos, e com esse mote, fomos comemorar (ela, eu e a Joana) para os jardins da Casa de Serralves, com uma sessão de fotos. Somos todas doidas por fotografia, e esta foi a oportunidade que eu tive de estrear a minha D300s em exterior.

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Two weeks ago, a friend I met though the fabulous NaNoWriMo turned 18, and with that in mind we (she, Joana and moi) decided to celebrate with a photo shoot in the gardens of Casa de Serralves. We're all crazy about photography, and this was the first opportunity I had to use my D300s outside.

Photo post #27: Gabs' Carnaval

2010-03-14T01:20:00.002Z

A minha irmã mais nova vestiu-se de leão, no Carnaval, e eu diverti-me com ela.

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My younger sister dressed as a lion for Mardi Gras /Carnaval, and I had fun with her.

De volta! / I'm back

2010-03-14T00:56:00.002Z

Depois de quase um mês de pausa forçada, uma vez que estou a terminar a minha pós-graduação e que tenho tido algum trabalho, estou de volta. Os posts que se seguem são uma compilação do trabalho que fiz neste (quase) mês de pausa. E há novidades! Graças ao meu querido avô, tenho uma Nikon D300s! É maravilhosa, digo-vos. Tem 51 pontos de focagem! A minha D40 tinha uns míseros 3! Estou nas nuvens com a câmara nova (e com a lente que com ela vinha, a 18-200mm 3.5 - 5.6), e espero que isso se veja no meu trabalho!

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After almost a month of forced pause, due to the workload that comes with the end of my post-grad, I'm back! The following posts are collections of my work during this (almost) month off. And I have news! Thanks to my dearest grandfather, I now own a Nikon D300s! It's truly wonderful, I tell you. It has 51 focal points. My D40 had something like... 3. I'm in heaven with my new camera (and with the lens that came along: 18-200mm, 3.5-5.6), and I hope it's visible in my work.

Photo post #26: Pink Perfection

2010-02-18T22:30:00.003Z

Há umas semanas, resolvi tirar a tarde para fotografar no Palácio de Cristal, aqui no Porto. Vesti as minhas meias cor-de-rosa e lá fui. O resultado final, ainda que ligeiramente repetitivo, não deixou de me agradar. Afinal de contas, o rosa é a minha cor preferida!

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A few weeks ago, I decided to spend and afternoon at a garden here in town, Palácio de Cristal. I got my pink leggings and off I went! The final result, however slightly repetitive, pleased me. After all, pink is my favorite color!

Photo post #25: random choices out of 365

2010-02-18T22:20:00.002Z

Aqui estamos nós para o post obrigatório do 365! Espero que gostem destas últimas fotos!

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Here we are, for the obligatory 365 post! I hope you like these last photos!

ETSY STORE!

2010-02-10T18:53:00.002Z

Olá a todos! Tenho duas novidades:

a primeira é que criei uma página no facebook para as minhas fotos, por isso façam o favor de ir visitar e de se juntarem! Quanto mais gente souber, melhor! :)

Luminous Photography - Facebook

a segunda é que abri, finalmente, uma loja no etsy. Estava ansiosa por fazê-lo, mas ainda não tinha a certeza de como é que a logística ia correr. Agora que organizei tudo direitinho, estou pronta para começar a vender! Já estão três fotos para venda no site, e nos próximos dias eu vou adicionar mais!

Luminous Photography - Shop

É claro que se virem alguma foto de que gostem e que não esteja no Etsy, podem contactar-me (aqui ou lá) para eu a colocar disponível!

Obrigada a todos pelo apoio! Vocês têm sido maravilhosos!

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Hey everyone! I have two sets of news:

First, I created a facebook page for my photography, yesterday, so please go on and join! The more the merrier!

Luminous Photography - Facebook

The second thing is that I finally created a shop on etsy! I had been wanting to do it for a while, but I was a little bit concerned about the logistics and everything. Gladly, now I have most things figured out and organized, so I'm good to start selling. Actually, there are already three photos up for sale, and I'll add more in the next few days!

Luminous Photography - Shop

Of course, if there's a photo you like that isn't on etsy, please contact me and I'll make sure to put it up there for you!

Thank you all for your support. You all have been amazing.

New Writing Blog

2010-02-05T03:42:00.003Z

Para aqueles de vós que não me conhecem, a minha actividade favorita, além da fotografia, é a escrita. Até estes dias, tive um livejournal em que publicava apenas as mini-tretas que escrevo, mas uma vez que o LJ está cada vez mais morto, decidi criar um blogue novo, para as minhas aventuras literárias. O conteúdo será, maioritariamente, em inglês, visto que é a língua em que escrevo mais. De qualquer forma, fica o aviso!

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For those of you who don't know me, my favorite activity, besides photography, is writing. Up until these days I kept a livejournal where I published my mini-drabbles, but since LJ is slowly dying, I decided to create a new blog, just for my literary adventures. The content will be mostly in english, since that's the language I'm used to write in. Anyway, here's the link!

http://rose-imagery.blogspot.com

photo post #24: the best of the rest — 365

2010-01-28T17:00:00.002Z

Uma vez que eu não as tenho postado aqui, ficam com as minhas favoritas dos últimos tempos do project 365.

Since I haven't been posting them here, you can now see my favorites out of the last few from project 365.

day twenty-eight

day twenty-nine

day thirty-one

day thirty-four

day thirty-five

day thirty-seven

day thirty-nine

day forty-one

day forty-two

day forty-three

photo post #23: experiences with a bottle

2010-01-28T16:51:00.002Z

Anteontem, decidi dedicar-me a fazer experiências com uma garrafa de vidro que tinha lá por casa. Aqui estão os resultados finais!

The day before yesterday, I decided to make some photo experiments with a glass bottle I had laying around the house. Here are the final results!

photo post #22: Guimarães

2010-01-28T16:36:00.002Z

No fim-de-semana passado tive o prazer de passar um dia com alguns dos meus colegas da turma de fotografia, em Guimarães. Foi um dia fantástico, em que nos divertimos imenso, tirámos boas fotos e comemos que nem lordes. Fica aqui uma pequena parte do registo fotográfico do dia!

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Last weekend, I had the pleasure of spending a day with my photography class colleagues, in Guimarães. It was a fantastic day. We had lots of fun, took some good photos and ate like crazy! Here's a small part of all the day's photos!

Obrigada à Elsa, ao Lisboa, ao Luís e ao Carlos por tornarem este dia possível! :)

Photo post #21: Going Pro

2010-01-12T18:30:00.003Z

Os cartões pessoais que eu tinha encomendado no Moo já chegaram! Tenho a dizer que nem me dá vontade de os entregar, de tão giros que são! Ficam aqui algumas das fotos, para vocês verem se gostam deles tanto quanto eu!

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The business cards I had ordered form Moo arrived today! I have to say that I don't even want to give them away, they're so pretty that I just want to keep them all to myself! Here are a few photos of them, so you guys can tell me if you like them as much as I do!

I guess I'm all set to start working now! Well, I was before, but now I have pretty shiny cutesy business cards!

Have a wonderful day!

photo post #20: random choices out of 365

2010-01-07T14:50:00.002Z

Este é o meu primeiro post the 2010! Espero que todos tenham tido umas festas óptimas, e que tenham começado 2010 da melhor maneira possível.

Segue-se um apanhado dos últimos dias de 365. Não vou colocar aqui todas as fotos, apenas aquelas de que eu gosto mais. Quem quiser ter acesso a outras fotos, pode vê-las aqui, no meu Flickr.

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This is my first post of 2010! I hope you all had a wonderful end of holiday, and that you've started 2010 in the best possible way!

The following is a section of my last few days of 365. I won't post all the photos, just the ones I like the most, but if you're interested, you can see the entire batch here, on my Flickr account.

Photo post #19: Project 365 (continued)

2009-12-28T11:35:00.002Z

day five

day six

day seven

day eight

day nine

day ten

day eleven

day twelve

Photo post #17: project 365

2009-12-19T19:05:00.004Z

The last three days of project 365:

day two

day three

day four

Project 365

2009-12-16T16:06:00.004Z

No verão passado, estando mais que aborrecida e com tempo a mais nas mãos, decidi juntar-me ao Project365, no Flickr. Este projecto consiste na execução de um auto-retrato por dia, durante um ano. Pode parecer fácil, mas não é, acreditem! Naqueles dias em que não nos apetece sequer sair da cama, ou em que andamos a correr de um lado para o outro, o desafio de tirar uma foto com alguma qualidade (sim, não podem ser 'myspace shots', daqueles em que viramos a máquina para nós e cá vai disto!) é imenso. Acabei de desistir do projecto quando fui de férias, porque não tinha possibilidade de postar as fotos, e ao atrasar-me perdi a motivação.

Agora, no entanto, ainda que o tempo seja pouco, com os dois cursos, decidi meter-me outra vez nisto! Eu acho sempre que quanto mais ocupada ando, mais consigo fazer, por isso decidi meter mãos (e máquina) ao trabalho e começar de novo.

Ficam aqui algumas das minhas fotos do verão! Espero que gostem!

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Last summer, while I was bored out of my mind and with too much time on my hands, I decided to join Project365, on Flickr. The project consists in taking a self-portrait every day for an entire year. It might seem easy, but it's not, believe me! The real challenge happens in those days when you can't even find the will to get out of bed, or that you're running around like crazy, and taking a good shot becomes a very hard thing to do (and no, you can't post 'myspace shots', the kind where you point your camera at yourself and shoot randomly). I ended up falling behind when I went on vacation, and gave up.

Now, however, even not having much time (with two courses going

on), I decided to start over! Things seem to work better when I'm busier, so I thought I'd give it another try and put my camera to work a little bit more.

Here are some examples of my first attempt.

E aqui está a foto #001 da segunda tentativa!

Here's photo #001 of my second attempt!

Photo post #17: Starbucks

2009-12-04T15:35:00.001Z

Starbucks! My favorite thing in the world! :)

Photo post #15: The journey down

2009-12-04T12:06:00.004Z

No fim-de-semana passado, tive o prazer de ir a Lisboa ver o concerto dos Muse, no Pavilhão Atlântico. Foram dois dias fantásticos, com as minhas melhores amigas, numa cidade que eu começo a parar de detestar (perdoem-me o bairrismo!)

Ficam aqui as fotos da viagem de comboio!

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Last weekend, I had the pleasure of going to Lisbon, to see the Muse concert. I spent two

fantastic days with my best friends, and despite my efforts not to, I don't think I hate Lisbon that much anymore.

Here are the photos of the train trip.

Photo post #16: A Sunday in the park

2009-12-04T11:59:00.004Z

Da mesma viagem, ficam aqui as fotos do Parque das Nações!

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From the same trip, here are the photos of Parque das Nações, where Expo'98 was held!

Photo post #14: Alto Alentejo

2009-11-25T14:27:00.003Z

As fotos que se seguem foram tiradas numas férias passadas no Alentejo, na primavera de 2008. O tratamento que eu fiz na altura é um pouco brusco, mas mesmo assim, eu adoro olhar para elas.

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The following set was taken during a vacation in Alentejo (south of Portugal), in the Spring of '08. The treatment I did at the time is a little bit harsh, but I love looking at them anyway.

Photo post #13: Aguda

2009-11-22T01:53:00.005Z

A minha família tem uma casa de praia numa aldeia de pescadores não muito longe do Porto; é um lugar que eu adoro, cheio de paisagens românticas e de grandes oportunidades para tirar fotos. Esta semana tive que passar lá uma tarde, e aproveitei para tirar algumas fotografias.

Eu adoro andar sem destino naquelas ruas, faz-me sentir que pertenço ali. É uma vila mínima, tão pequenina, e eu tenho a mais perfeita noção de que ninguém me conhece (não passo lá muito tempo), mas ainda assim sinto-me bem-vinda ali.

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My family owns a beach house in a fishing village, not too far away from our usual home; it's a place I love, with romantic views and great chances for photos. I spent an afternoon there, this week, and thought I should take some photos.

I love wandering aimlessly through those streets, it makes me feel like I belong there. It's such a small village, and I am well aware of the fact that nobody knows me (I don't spend much time there) but still, I feel welcome in that place.

Photo post #12: NaNoWriMo meet up.

2009-11-11T00:21:00.003Z

Photo post #11: Black and White Park

2009-11-06T12:48:00.007Z

Photo post #10: A Morning in the Park

2009-11-04T15:38:00.006Z

O meu pai e eu decidimos levar a minha irmã ao parque da cidade ontem de manhã, e eu tive a oportunidade de tirar algumas fotos.

My dad and I decided to take my younger sister to the park yesterday morning, and I had the opportunity to take a few shots.

Photo post #9: NaNoWriMo

2009-10-31T17:29:00.004Z

Em homenagem ao início do NaNoWriMo (para mais informações, visitem o site), cá vão duas das coisas mais úteis durante o mês de Novembro: cadernos e cafeína.

As a tribute to the beginning of NaNoWriMo (for more information, visit the website), here go two of the most useful things for the month of November: notebooks and caffeine.

Photo post #8: Feather and Romance

2009-10-28T11:20:00.004Z

This set is composed of photos of things that I bought when I went shopping with my friends the other day. They were so gorgeous, they couldn't just go by unnoticed!

Photo post #7: Holgaroid

2009-10-27T13:00:00.004Z