I almost didn't post this week. I'm not at all satisfied with how this shot came out, but I made a commitment, right? So here it is. And I just remembered I'll have to sing (alone) in public next Monday. OH GOD. I'm so screwed.
I'm in a very strange place, art-wise. And in the past few days, I have been giving a lot of thought to the concept of artistic integrity. It's been on my mind, especially because of this project, because I am so often torn between posting a photo that I truly love or posting another that I know will be popular, that will give me reviews and recognition.
Lately, I've been leaning more and more towards posting the works that I love instead of the ones I know will get more comments or favorites or notes; that usually ends up with me depressed and pissed at myself when I don't get the kind of reception I had expected. And I'm not blaming you, my darling viewers, because I know that if something is strange enough, it will keep you from saying something. It keeps ME from saying something. I am, however, blaming myself for caving, most times, and for posting the one I know will be loved and seen.
And now I'm calling it 'caving'. Really? Just because you post a photo you know will be popular instead of an artistic one, does it mean you lose your integrity? Does it mean you give up on what you believe? It's an incredibly complicated choice to make, and I usually go with the compromise: an artsy shot with a pretty outtake, or the other way around. That's how it's going to work this week. But I'm still not satisfied.
To think that I had to climb onto a waterfall and nearly killed myself, and now I don't even like the shot.
On a different subject, I found this site that allows you to write an email to the future and receive it on a date you set yourself. I wrote my email today, and while I was expecting to write a couple of lines, I ended up with three pages and a smile on my face. I wonder how I'll be in a year and a half. I wonder if New York will work out, I wonder if it'll change me. I wonder if I'll still be alone or if I'll find someone to recreate that 'For Lovers Only' teaser with me. I wonder if I'll still be me.
Note: If anyone knows who this texture belongs to, please let me know through PM? I can't find the source. I had never used it, so I didn't take note at the time I downloaded it and now I don't know who it belongs to. :/
Oh, and please press 'L'?